So here we are Divas, the beginning of another week. Don't be hard on yourself. Making positive changes takes time. I certainly don't quite know what I'm doing yet, but I'm feeling great about it all and am ready for another week.
As we head into week 2, I'm sure some of you are thinking......"So...what's the plan anyways?" "What exactly IS she going to do to lose HALF of herself???? Well, I'll tell you my plan, but you gotta remember that before you start any diet or exercise plan to check with your doctor. I did..... and he thinks it's a solid plan, but you and I may be different and you always want to make sure it's safe for YOU.
Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) is a mathematical calculation that tells you exactly how many calories your particular body mass burns in a 24 hour period just living, breathing and being.... with little to no physical activity.
If we go back to basic life science and chemistry, you know that 3500 calories = 1 pound of fat. Sooooo.... if you wanna lose 2 pounds a week (on average), you gotta lose 7000 calories a week (or 1000 calories a day). So how do we do that???? I'd say, let's start off by figuring out what our BMR is. Mine is 2100. If I wanna lose 1000 calories (or a deficit as they call it) then I would split the 1000 calories in half and try to BURN 500 CALORIES and then consume 500 CALORIES LESS than my BMR (which is 1600 calories). So my goal is:
Eat a balanced diet of 1600 calories or less each day AND
Burn 500 extra calories each day through exercise and movement.
Sure there are various calculators you can use to track your calories eaten. I personally really like www.calorieking.com or www.sparkpeople.com. Then for exercise there are various calculators on the web for that too.....HOWEVER if you have the money, I recommend purchasing the BODYBUGG.
The bodybugg runs anywhere from $175-$250 depending on if you get online support (which you really don't need if you get the display). The bodybugg is a multi-directional, super duper, highly accurate pedometer that calculates all your movements (except when swimming) and gives you a total calories burned for the day. Knowing this very accurate number is extremely helpful..because realizing it or not.... there are movements we don't even think of that will cause us to burn, burn, burn more calories than we realized. Take yard work, for example..... I did not know this until just this weekend, but yard work for one hour burns twice as many calories as walking for one hour. SWEET!!!!!
So there's my plan to lose 2 pounds a week through food and exercise journaling. I know it will take me a while, but I will be doing it at a nice slow pace that should allow my body to heal and get healthy. As I continue to blog, we will discuss in a bit more detail how we get to our calories consumed goal. There are guidelines I am going to follow, such as choosing only 3 carb servings a day and making sure to get 3-5 fruits a day etc. (Only because as you all know, eating balanced is much better for our bodies.) Oh sure....there will be those days when all you want to do is just sit down and eat 1600 calories in chocolate chip cookie dough and then go for a walk and then call it a day. And yeeeeessssssss, I might be within my calorie deficit goal of 1000 for the day if I do that, but is it good for me? Absolutely not.
So that's the plan and I'm sticking to it. If you keep an eye on the left side of my blog, I will be posting more regularly my stats and journals. You can also find on that side the BMR calculators and such. So here's to week 2 and to having a pland and workin' it!!!!! Have a beautiful Monday.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Never Take Advice From Someone More Screwed Up Than You Are.
OK Divas, this is my "make up" blog since I missed yesterday. And since I just finished writing today's blog, it really got me hot steaming mad as I wrote about my husband's unconscious sabotage efforts.
He really is the most wonderful husband in the world. But let's face it ladies.... My mama always told me to find a set of flaws you can live with and then live with them. Because there is not one of us out there that's perfect. Well... my husband is no exception. I'm sure I'm not either.
When we got married he was a string bean. Six foot and 6 inches tall with a weight of about 205 pounds with a 34 inch waist. He was very disciplined at getting up at 5:30 every day and he used to love running. It was very nice. I on the other hand was always a little on the plump side starting our marriage out at five feet and six inches and weighing 235 on my wedding day. A size 20.
Well over the years, my husband has taken to being my personal advice therapist, telling me all sorts of things I'm doing wrong and right and he goes from one extreme to the next. His mantra has always been....."Honey, never take advice from anyone more screwed up that you...."
Well I just have to laugh at that one. We've been married almost 13 years and in that time his waist has stretched from 34" to 48" and his weight has gone from 205 to 335. A net gain of 14" and 120 pounds in 13 years. My stats are bad, but not as bad as his. I started out with a 44" waist and I'm now at 55" and my weight has gone from 235 to 300. A gain of 65 pounds.
So, REALITY CHECK Mr. Wonderful Husband...... I'm not taking ANY MORE DIET advice from you. You've gained almost double the amount of weight than I have in the same period of time. NOTHING you can say can help me. Honestly... I don't know how he thinks he's an authority on weight loss when his addictions to things like greasy hamburgers and Dr. Pepper have put him in his own predicament. And he thinks that just because he's taller that it makes him "healthier". Well all I can say is HA!!!! to that.
The same would apply to all you lovely ladies. I believe in truth. I believe in others telling me the truth, but it's a hard pill for me to swallow when the person giving you the pill acts Holier Than Thou and their situation is worse than yours.
Be selective in whom you take advice from. If their advice makes you feel anxious, nervous, angry or resentful, then it's not good advice. Just go with your heart and gut instinct. The saying is true, "Don't take advice from anyone more screwed up than you are." Good words to live by honey, now please be quiet and stop telling me how to lose weight.
PS. I love you.
He really is the most wonderful husband in the world. But let's face it ladies.... My mama always told me to find a set of flaws you can live with and then live with them. Because there is not one of us out there that's perfect. Well... my husband is no exception. I'm sure I'm not either.
When we got married he was a string bean. Six foot and 6 inches tall with a weight of about 205 pounds with a 34 inch waist. He was very disciplined at getting up at 5:30 every day and he used to love running. It was very nice. I on the other hand was always a little on the plump side starting our marriage out at five feet and six inches and weighing 235 on my wedding day. A size 20.
Well over the years, my husband has taken to being my personal advice therapist, telling me all sorts of things I'm doing wrong and right and he goes from one extreme to the next. His mantra has always been....."Honey, never take advice from anyone more screwed up that you...."
Well I just have to laugh at that one. We've been married almost 13 years and in that time his waist has stretched from 34" to 48" and his weight has gone from 205 to 335. A net gain of 14" and 120 pounds in 13 years. My stats are bad, but not as bad as his. I started out with a 44" waist and I'm now at 55" and my weight has gone from 235 to 300. A gain of 65 pounds.
So, REALITY CHECK Mr. Wonderful Husband...... I'm not taking ANY MORE DIET advice from you. You've gained almost double the amount of weight than I have in the same period of time. NOTHING you can say can help me. Honestly... I don't know how he thinks he's an authority on weight loss when his addictions to things like greasy hamburgers and Dr. Pepper have put him in his own predicament. And he thinks that just because he's taller that it makes him "healthier". Well all I can say is HA!!!! to that.
The same would apply to all you lovely ladies. I believe in truth. I believe in others telling me the truth, but it's a hard pill for me to swallow when the person giving you the pill acts Holier Than Thou and their situation is worse than yours.
Be selective in whom you take advice from. If their advice makes you feel anxious, nervous, angry or resentful, then it's not good advice. Just go with your heart and gut instinct. The saying is true, "Don't take advice from anyone more screwed up than you are." Good words to live by honey, now please be quiet and stop telling me how to lose weight.
PS. I love you.
Sabotage
Whenever I start a new diet/health program, there are always those people in my life that, for one reason or another and either consciously or subconsciously, will try and put a kink in my plan to get healthy. For years (and I do mean YEARS), I have allowed those people control in my life. Well here we are at yet another new beginning and all the naysayers come out from the woodwork. My husband is the worst about this.
I'll work out hard during the day. I'll be sore and tired and sometimes, I'll just not feel like cooking dinner. So sue me. So I always have some quick healthy choices on hand like sandwiches, fruit, eggs, etc. There are some nights that if I've had a rough day, I consider it a success to sit and just eat a quick tuna sandwich on whole wheat with some strawberries and grapes and call it a "healthy" dinner. My husband refuses to accept this. He wants a MEAL, "a Man's Meal", he says. A freshly cooked, hot meal. Not something re-heated in the oven or microwave. And since I don't have the energy to get up and make meat and potatoes, he wants to take us all out to eat for pizza, Mexican food, whatever is the unhealthy. Hoorrraaaayyyyy. NOT!!!!!!! Sometimes I just wished he cooked. (Note to self- In the afterlife, I want a husband that cooks. Oh wait, I'm sealed to this one for eternity so I guess I'm stuck. Anyways....It's the little things like this where his support would be really nice.
In the past, BEFORE I had my epiphany, I would actually get in the car and give in (give up my power) and go with him out to eat because I didn't want to argue and secretly I guess I just didn't care all that much. Of course, on the way there I would tell my self, there are lots of healthy choices I could make like salads, chicken breast and on and on. But once we got seated at our table and they bring the bread or whatever goodies are served before the meal, I would not have the strength to resist french fries, ranch dressing, grease, steak, butter, salt and the whole lot of it all. So I'd eat. BAD, BAD, BAD. Then I'd feel guilty. Then I'd feel like a failure and then I'd be angry, not only at myself but at him as well. Because I thought that if he "loved" me that he would not put me in harm's way of sabotaging my good sense.
Well, it has already begun. Twice this week he's wanted to eat out. So what can I do? I'll TELL you what I can do. I can call him up on his cell and tell him BEFORE he comes home that I don't feel like cooking, here are his choices and if he doesn't want salad or something quick at home then (on his way home if he wants to eat),he can he just drive by and pick up a salad/chili from Wendy's (a healthy choice). Get Subway. Another healthy choice or pick up whatever his heart fancies.... but if it's fast food and he wants to stuff his face with junk till he's sick, at least I won't have to be an accomplice or be tempted. Then he can drive home AFTER all the drama is over and keep me out of it? I really prefer not to have the temptation. It's just safer that way for me.
Stand your ground Divas. Remove yourself from the danger if you need to but remember, The Big Fat Truth #3 is that you have to look out for #1 first if you're ever going to be around to continue taking care of everyone else. Don't be hard on yourself because you exercised hard and your body is too tired to cook. You can maybe plan ahead and put some freezer meals in the fridge..... but there will still be those days when you just have to say, "Hey, I can't do it all so this is how it is."
I'll work out hard during the day. I'll be sore and tired and sometimes, I'll just not feel like cooking dinner. So sue me. So I always have some quick healthy choices on hand like sandwiches, fruit, eggs, etc. There are some nights that if I've had a rough day, I consider it a success to sit and just eat a quick tuna sandwich on whole wheat with some strawberries and grapes and call it a "healthy" dinner. My husband refuses to accept this. He wants a MEAL, "a Man's Meal", he says. A freshly cooked, hot meal. Not something re-heated in the oven or microwave. And since I don't have the energy to get up and make meat and potatoes, he wants to take us all out to eat for pizza, Mexican food, whatever is the unhealthy. Hoorrraaaayyyyy. NOT!!!!!!! Sometimes I just wished he cooked. (Note to self- In the afterlife, I want a husband that cooks. Oh wait, I'm sealed to this one for eternity so I guess I'm stuck. Anyways....It's the little things like this where his support would be really nice.
In the past, BEFORE I had my epiphany, I would actually get in the car and give in (give up my power) and go with him out to eat because I didn't want to argue and secretly I guess I just didn't care all that much. Of course, on the way there I would tell my self, there are lots of healthy choices I could make like salads, chicken breast and on and on. But once we got seated at our table and they bring the bread or whatever goodies are served before the meal, I would not have the strength to resist french fries, ranch dressing, grease, steak, butter, salt and the whole lot of it all. So I'd eat. BAD, BAD, BAD. Then I'd feel guilty. Then I'd feel like a failure and then I'd be angry, not only at myself but at him as well. Because I thought that if he "loved" me that he would not put me in harm's way of sabotaging my good sense.
Well, it has already begun. Twice this week he's wanted to eat out. So what can I do? I'll TELL you what I can do. I can call him up on his cell and tell him BEFORE he comes home that I don't feel like cooking, here are his choices and if he doesn't want salad or something quick at home then (on his way home if he wants to eat),he can he just drive by and pick up a salad/chili from Wendy's (a healthy choice). Get Subway. Another healthy choice or pick up whatever his heart fancies.... but if it's fast food and he wants to stuff his face with junk till he's sick, at least I won't have to be an accomplice or be tempted. Then he can drive home AFTER all the drama is over and keep me out of it? I really prefer not to have the temptation. It's just safer that way for me.
Stand your ground Divas. Remove yourself from the danger if you need to but remember, The Big Fat Truth #3 is that you have to look out for #1 first if you're ever going to be around to continue taking care of everyone else. Don't be hard on yourself because you exercised hard and your body is too tired to cook. You can maybe plan ahead and put some freezer meals in the fridge..... but there will still be those days when you just have to say, "Hey, I can't do it all so this is how it is."
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Do What you Love. Thoughts on Exercise
Hey Divalicious ladies......I hope you all are enjoying the beginning of this beautiful new week. Unfortunately, for me, it was one of those blahhhhh days. It snowed last night about 2 inches. Everything was covered with a nice little blanket of white and it was 55 degrees inside the house when we all woke up at 7:00am. It's mornings like THIS one that make you want to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over your head and just stay there all day with the remote control, (or a good book OR just SLEEP AND SLEEP AND SLEEEEEEEP.) (Yeah, THAT would have been really nice....but NOT!!!!!!!) Simply because I don't think I would have been able to get away with it so easily. My husband would certainly have called me to the mat on the whole sleeping in thing.
As he scoots off to work this morning, he reminds me how he's , "Going out into the cold, hard world to earn a living for us...." He's SUCH a Drama Queen!!!!! I laughed as he headed out the door and reminded him of his own words as a self employed success.....He told me once..."Honey, If you do what you love every day, then it's not really considered work. It's just fun, but you get paid to do it." I don't think he found it amusing when he stepped out to 28 degree weather to go to work this morning but he DID get me thinking about exercise.
For me... exercise=WORK!!!! Yuck. But not lately because I found something I love to do. Have you ever heard of Zumba? Well....Zumba has a motto on their website (www.zumba.com) that says, "Ditch the workout. Join the Party!!!!". And this is exactly true. Zumba is like Latino Line Dancing for me. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!!! It has completely changed my view on exercise. I'm out there on the workout room floor sweating my fanny off with the best of them and having a ball, thinking to myself, "Who would have ever thought that workout like Zumba could burn as many calories as a boring old treadmill or elliptical?" I'll take Zumba ANY DAY.
So here it is ladies, The Big Fat Truth Tip # 2. Do what you LOVE for exercise and it will never be "work" again. I promise. Remove the excuses. Find what you TRULY love and then go for it. It has been my saving grace in getting a jump start to this whole new lifestyle. I hope you can find what you love too and then JUST DO IT!! Have a beautiful day.
~Christina
As he scoots off to work this morning, he reminds me how he's , "Going out into the cold, hard world to earn a living for us...." He's SUCH a Drama Queen!!!!! I laughed as he headed out the door and reminded him of his own words as a self employed success.....He told me once..."Honey, If you do what you love every day, then it's not really considered work. It's just fun, but you get paid to do it." I don't think he found it amusing when he stepped out to 28 degree weather to go to work this morning but he DID get me thinking about exercise.
For me... exercise=WORK!!!! Yuck. But not lately because I found something I love to do. Have you ever heard of Zumba? Well....Zumba has a motto on their website (www.zumba.com) that says, "Ditch the workout. Join the Party!!!!". And this is exactly true. Zumba is like Latino Line Dancing for me. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!!! It has completely changed my view on exercise. I'm out there on the workout room floor sweating my fanny off with the best of them and having a ball, thinking to myself, "Who would have ever thought that workout like Zumba could burn as many calories as a boring old treadmill or elliptical?" I'll take Zumba ANY DAY.
So here it is ladies, The Big Fat Truth Tip # 2. Do what you LOVE for exercise and it will never be "work" again. I promise. Remove the excuses. Find what you TRULY love and then go for it. It has been my saving grace in getting a jump start to this whole new lifestyle. I hope you can find what you love too and then JUST DO IT!! Have a beautiful day.
~Christina
Monday, February 22, 2010
Believe and Be
Hey Y'all Skinny Divas out there. I want to start off my blog today by thanking all my friends, family and fellow bloggers out there. The start of this blog has already become such a milestone for me. I appreciate all your love and support and encouragement. Let's keep the momentum rolling. I encourage your comments and feedback.
Today (this whole past week actually) I have been battling a head cold. The temps were freezing outside so I decided to do my workout at home on the elliptical. (I love that thing because it's friendly to my knees.) I ate pretty good today too, need more veggies and less carbs but stayed within my calories range. Though, I didn't get in my strength training as I had hoped.
I also added some enhancements to my blog. You will see lots of new things in the left column, including current pics of how I look. Pictures are a wonderful "truth" tool. They help you see how you REALLY look.....because if you're anything like me, you have a false perception of how you actually look. Just like anorexics see a "fat" person when they look in the mirror....unfortunately....I I see a skinny person. Well..... not exactly true....what I DON'T see is a "fat" person...at least not THAT fat!!! And honey, the pictures don't lie!!! So tip #1 on getting started with the whole Big Fat Truth, take current pictures and look at them often. Don't cry like I did...It's supposed to get better from here. LOL
With that said, I titled today's blog "Believe and Be". While searching the net for some inspiring things to read, I came across this quote and thought about it for a while. It's quite fitting as we start a new journey like this one. Growing up, my parents used to say something like this to us kids. Mom would say that...by "acting" AS IF we were already in the place where we wanted to be on the path we've already chosen, it would make us all the more successful. I'm an eternal optimist so I can tell you that this mantra does wonders for my self esteem. Especially starting out.
Funny enough I had a small opportunity to put it into action today while picking a new a new e-mail address. (We switched internet providers and got rid of the cable-Hooraaayyy). So I selected, theskinnydiva@gmail.com. At first I felt a bit embarrassed. My thoughts were something like this.....Everyone knows I'm a Phat Fatty (lol) so why not use, thephatfatty@gmail.com (which is available on gmail by the way) and I thought no, "Believe and Be" and if I'm gonna choose an e-mail it better be something self fulfilling anyways....theskinnydiva@gmail.com it is!!!! So it's Monday. Let's try to focus ourselves on what we are trying to become and act as if we already are. I believe in myself and I believe in you. Let's "Believe and Be."
Today (this whole past week actually) I have been battling a head cold. The temps were freezing outside so I decided to do my workout at home on the elliptical. (I love that thing because it's friendly to my knees.) I ate pretty good today too, need more veggies and less carbs but stayed within my calories range. Though, I didn't get in my strength training as I had hoped.
I also added some enhancements to my blog. You will see lots of new things in the left column, including current pics of how I look. Pictures are a wonderful "truth" tool. They help you see how you REALLY look.....because if you're anything like me, you have a false perception of how you actually look. Just like anorexics see a "fat" person when they look in the mirror....unfortunately....I I see a skinny person. Well..... not exactly true....what I DON'T see is a "fat" person...at least not THAT fat!!! And honey, the pictures don't lie!!! So tip #1 on getting started with the whole Big Fat Truth, take current pictures and look at them often. Don't cry like I did...It's supposed to get better from here. LOL
With that said, I titled today's blog "Believe and Be". While searching the net for some inspiring things to read, I came across this quote and thought about it for a while. It's quite fitting as we start a new journey like this one. Growing up, my parents used to say something like this to us kids. Mom would say that...by "acting" AS IF we were already in the place where we wanted to be on the path we've already chosen, it would make us all the more successful. I'm an eternal optimist so I can tell you that this mantra does wonders for my self esteem. Especially starting out.
Funny enough I had a small opportunity to put it into action today while picking a new a new e-mail address. (We switched internet providers and got rid of the cable-Hooraaayyy). So I selected, theskinnydiva@gmail.com. At first I felt a bit embarrassed. My thoughts were something like this.....Everyone knows I'm a Phat Fatty (lol) so why not use, thephatfatty@gmail.com (which is available on gmail by the way) and I thought no, "Believe and Be" and if I'm gonna choose an e-mail it better be something self fulfilling anyways....theskinnydiva@gmail.com it is!!!! So it's Monday. Let's try to focus ourselves on what we are trying to become and act as if we already are. I believe in myself and I believe in you. Let's "Believe and Be."
Sunday, February 21, 2010
When Did I Have "That Moment"? The one where the lights finally came on .
So, many of you are wondering about my "light bulb" moment...that one instant where I first realized that I needed to make a change. Well, it wasn't the time I left the movie theater feeling "sick" because the seats were too small and uncomfortable to sit in for two hours. And unfortunately it wasn't the 3rd (yes 3rd) time I had broken the toilet seat trying to reach an unreachable place to clean myself and then later when asked by my husband... I blamed it on standing on the toilet to hang something on the wall behind it. And amazingly, NO it wasn't the time my 3 year old asked me if I had a baby in my tummy and got excited because she so desperately wants a sibling. No, my moment came to me in a simple but small way.....about a week ago, late one night while flipping channels on the cable TV.
I'm not a big follower of reality TV, but in my quest to find something decent on the cable, I came across "Ruby"- a woman who once weighed in at 750 pounds and had lost over half of her body weight so far. Ruby is a beautiful Red Head with lots of heart and a big personality from Georgia. I could relate to Ruby AND her struggles. I've watched parts of her show here and there over the past few months so, when I ran across her show that evening , I decided to sit and watch for a few minutes.
Ruby was in a group setting among friends with a therapist who advocates a 12 step approach towards food. During the therapy, words like "comfort zone", "enablers" and "denial" were thrown out there and as Ruby fidgeted and squirmed in her seat she and I BOTH realized we were in DENIAL and that the only way to overcome was to invite the Lord into our problem. Now how about that???!!@#$%&*
I couldn't believe it. I had never realized that I (Yes ME!!!) could be denial. Like I said before, the truth is out there. I was always blaming everyone and everything else around me, but what I NEEDED to do was STOP........ and just simply ASK my Father in Heaven for HIS help. I NEVER, NEVER, EVER thought of that before. Of actually asking God to help ME?? I had always figured that I got myself into this mess and that somehow, I would get myself out, some day, later, whenever I had the time. But that's not the truth of it.... that's not how it works. Every day, little by little until one day I can become whole again, I'm going to ask for help from above. Help to resist the temptation of food, help to get up when I'm tired and still exercise and do what I know I should be doing. Help to not be too hard on myself when I fall short. And maybe one day.....I can become ME again. It would be nice to recognize my own face in the mirror once more.
So here we are starting a new plan. It's gonna take fatih, some attitude, understanding, drive and most of all love and friendship. Today's Big Fat Truth, we all need a little of God's help to get through. Are you ready????
Monday is a new week, I'll begin posting stats and more info. Please feel free to comment, uplift, inspire and offer advice. My ears are open. :-)
I'm not a big follower of reality TV, but in my quest to find something decent on the cable, I came across "Ruby"- a woman who once weighed in at 750 pounds and had lost over half of her body weight so far. Ruby is a beautiful Red Head with lots of heart and a big personality from Georgia. I could relate to Ruby AND her struggles. I've watched parts of her show here and there over the past few months so, when I ran across her show that evening , I decided to sit and watch for a few minutes.
Ruby was in a group setting among friends with a therapist who advocates a 12 step approach towards food. During the therapy, words like "comfort zone", "enablers" and "denial" were thrown out there and as Ruby fidgeted and squirmed in her seat she and I BOTH realized we were in DENIAL and that the only way to overcome was to invite the Lord into our problem. Now how about that???!!@#$%&*
I couldn't believe it. I had never realized that I (Yes ME!!!) could be denial. Like I said before, the truth is out there. I was always blaming everyone and everything else around me, but what I NEEDED to do was STOP........ and just simply ASK my Father in Heaven for HIS help. I NEVER, NEVER, EVER thought of that before. Of actually asking God to help ME?? I had always figured that I got myself into this mess and that somehow, I would get myself out, some day, later, whenever I had the time. But that's not the truth of it.... that's not how it works. Every day, little by little until one day I can become whole again, I'm going to ask for help from above. Help to resist the temptation of food, help to get up when I'm tired and still exercise and do what I know I should be doing. Help to not be too hard on myself when I fall short. And maybe one day.....I can become ME again. It would be nice to recognize my own face in the mirror once more.
So here we are starting a new plan. It's gonna take fatih, some attitude, understanding, drive and most of all love and friendship. Today's Big Fat Truth, we all need a little of God's help to get through. Are you ready????
Monday is a new week, I'll begin posting stats and more info. Please feel free to comment, uplift, inspire and offer advice. My ears are open. :-)
Friday, February 19, 2010
So Who's The Skinny Diva and Who's The Fatch Chick and Which One Are You?
That's like asking if Dr Jekyl and Mr. Hyde were the same man. The Skinny Diva is that strong, confident woman inside of all of us. She appears when we have the courage to tap into her energy and become her. She doesn't put up with all the crap that society puts on her. She's free to be herself and feels comfortable in her own skin. And she's not afraid to know the truth. She makes time for herself and she knows what she wants and needs and how to maintain her sanity. So why and how did she get eaten? Funny you should ask.
For me it was falling into a rut. And ruts REALLY suck!!! You don't even see them coming. It happens gradually over time. Little by little, one small decision after another. I was never prepared to admit that until recently. I made each compromise and sacrafice until one day I looked in the mirror and didn't even know who I was any more. I had lost me. I had blown up to just over 300 pounds. How did THAT happen??? Oh there were lots and lots of warning signs along the way. I certainly ignored them. Living in Denial always seems easier...you know? I put sacrifice and service to others and my family before me. Every time we got busy, it was fast food to go. Every time I was too tired to cook, I'd pop something awful from a freezer box into the microwave. Every time I was lonely because my husband was working too many late night hours, I'd bake cookies for the kids' lunches and eat half of them with a glass of milk. It was small choices here and there that made me turn to food. Not just sadness, but with everything. And with each bite, I was consumed by her. And eventually she ate me whole and I became "The Fat Chick". The Big Fat Truth is that it doesn't have to be that way.
For me it was falling into a rut. And ruts REALLY suck!!! You don't even see them coming. It happens gradually over time. Little by little, one small decision after another. I was never prepared to admit that until recently. I made each compromise and sacrafice until one day I looked in the mirror and didn't even know who I was any more. I had lost me. I had blown up to just over 300 pounds. How did THAT happen??? Oh there were lots and lots of warning signs along the way. I certainly ignored them. Living in Denial always seems easier...you know? I put sacrifice and service to others and my family before me. Every time we got busy, it was fast food to go. Every time I was too tired to cook, I'd pop something awful from a freezer box into the microwave. Every time I was lonely because my husband was working too many late night hours, I'd bake cookies for the kids' lunches and eat half of them with a glass of milk. It was small choices here and there that made me turn to food. Not just sadness, but with everything. And with each bite, I was consumed by her. And eventually she ate me whole and I became "The Fat Chick". The Big Fat Truth is that it doesn't have to be that way.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Introductions Please!!!
Okay, so here's The Big Fat Truth......I've been contemplating a blog for a long, long, VERY long time and have just been too lazy, tired, busy or preoccupied to get started. Yeah, yeah, yeah. WHATEVER!!! Blah, blah, blah.
So here I am, a 38 year old morbidly obese (I hate those words) mommy of a precious 3 yr. old princess and CEO wife of a very successful busy, busy entrepreneur. My life is crazy! Full of madness and absolutely NO schedule. I come from a wacky pack brand of looney toon relatives and the list goes on and on. As you can read, my life to this point has been full of excuses. And excuses...., quite frankly, have gotten me nowhere. So recently I had that moment, you know.... the one where the light bulb goes "bing!!!!" and all of a sudden you can see EVERYTHING in your life that's wrong and you see clearly the reasons why. Well my moment, (which I shall share later) struck me so hard to the very core that all I could do was cry..... for DAYS AND DAYS!!! I cried. And I realized for the first time that everything that I have blamed on everyone else for so long that was wrong in my life is and has been because of ME!!!! Because I LET IT BE that way. Shame on ME!!!! And the tears fell and fell. So with the beginning of this blog is the beginning of a new me and a journey that I hope you will take too as we go along.
So let's start our journey together and realize that WE are the only thing stopping ourselves from achieving our dreams. Whatever they may be. Nothing can stop us... not excuses, fear, laziness or uncertainty. Let the journey begin.
So here I am, a 38 year old morbidly obese (I hate those words) mommy of a precious 3 yr. old princess and CEO wife of a very successful busy, busy entrepreneur. My life is crazy! Full of madness and absolutely NO schedule. I come from a wacky pack brand of looney toon relatives and the list goes on and on. As you can read, my life to this point has been full of excuses. And excuses...., quite frankly, have gotten me nowhere. So recently I had that moment, you know.... the one where the light bulb goes "bing!!!!" and all of a sudden you can see EVERYTHING in your life that's wrong and you see clearly the reasons why. Well my moment, (which I shall share later) struck me so hard to the very core that all I could do was cry..... for DAYS AND DAYS!!! I cried. And I realized for the first time that everything that I have blamed on everyone else for so long that was wrong in my life is and has been because of ME!!!! Because I LET IT BE that way. Shame on ME!!!! And the tears fell and fell. So with the beginning of this blog is the beginning of a new me and a journey that I hope you will take too as we go along.
So let's start our journey together and realize that WE are the only thing stopping ourselves from achieving our dreams. Whatever they may be. Nothing can stop us... not excuses, fear, laziness or uncertainty. Let the journey begin.
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